The Game
Happy Valentines Day beautiful people!
Who is ready for the onslaught of relationship posts? They're coming in hot!!
You know what's weird to think back on? & just a weird situation to navigate all together?
The beginning of relationships.
It's legit a constant cat and mouse game of who has the upper hand, who texted who last, who wants to hang out more, WHO WANTS WHO MORE - #anxietyanxietyanxiety.
& no matter how much you (or anyone else) says they don't want to play games and they just want to find their partner in crime -
- you have to play the f*cking game to land a good one.
Playing the stupid lil relationship game has gotten me into every serious relationship I've ever been in. You just gotta know how to play & be patient enough to get through it - no matter how mind numbing it can be.
Let's rewind and go back to the beginning of my relationship with Ross.
It's my junior year of college.
I'm in my room in the sorority house perusing Facebook before we go out for the night.
And then there it was.
That beautiful Facebook notification:
***
"Ross Hardin is SINGLE"
***
HALLELURRRRRRRR.
Instant MF'ing butterflies!
I had, had my eye on Ross since summer but he had been dating another girl - meaning he was off limits - I don't do that "other woman" type ish.
BUT NOW
Ross. Hardin. Was. Single.
My immediate thoughts?
"He. Mine."
Aggressive much lol?
Ch'yeah.
But if there was one thing I was confident in - it was playing the game with someone I knew I had a spark with.
Ross and I had been running in the same Greek Life circle for about a year. We also had business classes in the same building; so becoming a frequent player on his radar wasn't going to be that difficult.
I started making sure I went to most of Ross' frat parties...not that I didn't do that anyways lol, DTD for life.
I also started asking Ross for help with my homework rather than asking his frat buddies
#whatarefinance
I put myself on Ross' radar and I put myself there hard.
Frequency is key - do what you can to become a recurring thought in your crush's day to day.
Even though I was becoming a frequent player in Ross' life - he had just gotten out of a serious relationship. I had to tread lightly.
I remember when Ross and I had first started chatting - he told me he was looking to have a good time his senior year and was looking forward to being single.
Was Ross saying flat out he didn't want to date ANYONE?
No.
But I could see the potential writing on the walls & this wasn't my first rodeo.
So what is one to do when the person they like wants to be single and just have fun?
Throw that train of thought right back at them.
My response to Ross:
"I'm not looking for a relationship - I want to be single"
Boom.
Ross was in a round about way, putting me at bay by saying he was looking forward to being single - so in turn - I deliberately told him the same, but I did it more directly.
Every serious relationship I have been in, I have told my future significant other that I was not looking for a relationship.
Was this a lie each time? Yes. But did it work each time? Also yes lol.
Putting yourself in that unattainable category creates desire - people tend to want what they can't have. So make them think that they can't have you! ESPECIALLY if they're trying to spin the same scenario to you in the first place.
Another part of playing the game? Communication standards. AKA - texting. & woof this one def has to be the hardest.
I would always wait for Ross to text me first & I would never hit him with the double text unless a full blown convo warranted it.
If you're waiting to hear from your crush and are getting annoyed that you haven't, text your friends about it. Gal pals make for the best sounding boards - especially when you want to send some crazy texts about him not talking to you more lol. Let your girlfriends handle your crazy so you can secure your beau.
Do not over text if you're not hearing from your crush.
Another tactic to employ when trying to get your crush in a committed relationship? You have to play it cool.
Ross and I were partying at his house one night but it was his friend's 21st birthday - I wasn't 21 yet so I wasn't going to be able to go to the bars. Ross asked me if it was ok if he went to the bars or if I wanted him to stay with me. It was time to
Be cool.
I told Ross to go to the bars and that my underage self and his friends (the ones opting to not go to the bars) would party at his place until he came back.
Guys I never heard the end of how "cool" Ross and his friends thought that this was lol.
Something as little as showing you're not controlling and can independently have fun with your crush's friends is HUGE.
Even though I knew I'd love to date Ross - I also wasn't going to put all my eggs in one basket. There was no guarantee Ross was going to ask me out and it's vital to protect yourself from potential disappointment.
I was talking to two other guys seriously when Ross and I were playing the relationship game.
Keeping your options open while pursuing your crush will protect your sanity - and your heart.
3 months of relationship gaming passed after seeing that glorious
***
"Ross Hardin is Single"
***
Facebook notification.
After that 3 months - Ross asked me to be his girlfriend.
Are all of these 'relationship game' tid bits fool proof in landing a significant other?
Probably not lol, but they always worked for me!
So, get out there kittycats and get yourself a mans!
Happy hunting cupids!