Chapter 4, The Excuses
IN. ONE. WEEK?!??!!!!
Just consider it a birthday present readers.
Let’s continue on with the HH from hell.
Beware apologies decorated with excuses.
If the apology is more about the person giving it & them trying to protect their own image, it's not a genuine apology.
Sharpe was "sorry" for what she had said - but she had v specific excuses on why her and Dudley attacked me:
1) She was scared.
2) I'm not friends with half of my bridesmaids.
3) Dana and Emily should have stayed to talk to her.
4) Dudley Der had indirectly requested, I never write about his frens.
Let's break down my opinions on this irrational chain 1 by 1.
1) She was scared.
Sharpe thought I was going to immediately run and blog about her after the event - so she went on the offensive with a verbal attack.
Have ya'll ever heard the saying, don't poke the bear? Basically, the saying serves as a warning to not provoke someone/something that will result in a negative response. SO, if you're "scared" of a bear, it's probably in your best interests to not f*ck with the bear…right??? Like maybe, just maybe, leave the bear alone lol?
But instead of leaving the bear alone (ie ME!), Sharpe basically went and kicked the bear RIGHT in the mouth.
Good job! Solid idea on all accounts!
But Sharpe was compelled to attack first because she was scared - she was going to try to take me down before I had the chance to turn on her.
The funny thing here guys - I never had ANY intention of writing or turning on Sharpe - even after the event when I found out she kicked me in my bear mouth lol. I am not lying when I say I loved this girl and I didn’t want to hurt her.
I asked Sharpe about being scared at HH -
"Sharpe, over the year that we have been friends, have I ever hurt you? Have we ever had a fight?"
She paused, collecting her thoughts and then answered -
2) but you're not friends with HALF of your bridesmaids. Why would I be any different?"
So, Sharpe was scared, went on the offensive because she thought I was going to blog about her AND then, thought I would end the friendship anyways (like half of my bridesmaids).
Let's chat about the good ol' bridesmaid comment.
TSwift where you at?
"Learning the difference between lifelong friendships and situationships. Something about “we’re in our young twenties!” hurls people together into groups that can feel like your chosen family. And maybe they will be for the rest of your life. Or maybe they’ll just be your comrades for an important phase, but not forever. It’s sad but sometimes when you grow, you outgrow relationships. You may leave behind friendships along the way, but you’ll always keep the memories." - Taylor Swift
I was 24 years old when I chose the 8 women who would be my bridesmaids.
24 is young.
& 8 is A LOT of women.
I task you all with the following - go back to when you were 24 years old (or even when you were 3 years younger than you are now) and list your 8 best friends.
Now, are your 8 best friends today, the same 8 best friends you would name three years ago?
If you can name a full 8, you're legendary. Teach us your secrets.
I truly think anyone will be hard pressed to have the same 8 BEST friends for 3+ years. Especially when dealing with 8 women in their early 20's - that's a lot of baggage…and that territory comes with a lot of drama.
However, I do think people get my bridesmaid situation twisted - I am still best friends with 3 out of my 8 bridesmaids. Yes, one is my sister lol lol, so she stuck. But then there’s Dana who I’ve been friends with for over a decade, & Emily who I’ve been friends with for four years.
Then, I am also still friends with another 2 of my bridesmaids
2 pups + 3 pups = 5 pups. Jk we’re still talking about Bridesmaids. & we’re now at 5.
So where does that leave the other 3 out of the 8? These 3 are the ones I am no longer on speaking terms with.
5 out of 8. I’m still friends with 5 out of 8 of my BMs. That means I'm at a 62.5% friendship success rate.
The 3 BM situationships that I am no longer friends with?
Peggy - knew her for a year, she just wanted to be in the wedding, she got what she wanted.
Jem - Peggy's roommate, knew her on the surface for 3 years, she was a great party friend, the relationship didn't transcend that - there are no bad feelings here.
Clara - knew her for 6 years. Loved her for 6 years. Her best friend is Bertha & due to that, our relationship couldn't continue.
Clara is the one that I miss dearly, regardless of what's been done/said on both of our sides over the past three years. Because let me tell you about a friendship of 6 years - you can't walk away detached from emotion - you just can't.
It hasn't worked.
Clara and I ran into each other three times at WMO this year.
3. 3. 3. 3. 3.
Like out of the thousands of people in attendance at WMO?!?!! 3 times? That's a lot. Like that's not a coincidence at that point lol. Not sure what kind of supernatural phenomenon to call it but let's just say it's fate. #thefateof3
By the third time we ran into each other, Clara came up and gave me a hug.
Not only did I hug Clara back, you guys want to know what came out of my big mouth?
"I. Miss. You."
these words literally fell out of my mouth.
I didn't think before I said them. I didn't know I would want to say them. They just came out.
Clara looked at me and smiled -
But she does know lol. & despite my best efforts of trying not to, I will always care about that one.
But let me get to my point here (trust me I have one)!
Relationships change & not always for the good. It sucks when you fall apart from a friend but life is messy and it does happen. So for Sharpe to try to use my failed bridesmaid relationships as a reason to verbally berate me behind my back?? That’s garbage.
ESPECIALLY since when I met Sharpe, she didn't have two girlfriends to rub together.
I cautiously explained the bridesmaid situation to Sharpe. She goes -
"WELL, what about MARY?"
Mary was one of my bridesmaids - we were & are still friends - but I had distanced myself from Mary for a V specific reason.
A reason Sharpe wasn’t privy to.
I had pushed Mary away to protect Sharpe’s dumb a**.
& I couldn't tell Sharpe why just yet.
& I can't tell you all why just yet.
I glazed over Sharpe's question -
"Mary and I are still friends - we just aren't as close as we used to be."
Sharpe and I continued on to the most excruciating part of our conversation:
3) Dana and Emily should have stayed to talk to her
Sharpe began -
"Do you know how frustrating it is to not be able to get your point across and to be SILENCED?! Dana WOULDN'T let ME TALK."
“Sharpe, the car was leaving so they left. It wasn’t because they didn’t want to talk to you - they just wanted to come with us.”
"Well, Dana and Emily should have stayed and talked to ME."
"Sharpe……Dana and Emily came in the car with Ross and I. Ross and I were leaving. They also wanted to keep partying with us… so why wouldn't they leave with us, when they came with us and wanted to keep partying with us?"
"Because I WANTED to talk to them and I WAS UPSET. They SHOULD have gotten a Lyft or Uber and STAYED to talk to ME."
so you think that Dana and Emily, should have spent money on a Lyft or Uber..….
to stay and talk to you…
when they came with us, wanted to leave with us & had a free ride."
Excuse me while I try to regain the brain cells I lost during this conversation.
Sharpe wasn’t going to get it & it wasn't worth arguing with her. This little selfish twerp was completely out of touch #likemotherlikedaughter , so I fell on the sword again:
"Sharpe, it was my fault they left. I should have told them to stay and talk to you."
COMING. OUT. OF. MY. MOUTH.
SAYING. THESE. WORDS.
AAAAAAAAND this vent has gotten v long readers so let's take an itty bitty break before excuse #4 and Mambo No.5 (aka Chapter 5).
But I love ya
To Be Continued - Chapter 5, Dudley