Chapter 3, The Aftermath
After the event - we went back to a friend’s place before going to Temple.
It was at this friend's house that I learned what had transpired between Emily, Dana and Sharpe.
It was also where information started to trickle in about what was being said back at the event.
Now, to the individuals that came forward (calling, texting, or talking) and revealed what Sharpe & Dudley had said -
I. SEE. YOU.
Like I freaking see you & I see you all in the best light possible. You all didn't know Ross and I well. You didn't owe us anything. But you were able to discern that what Sharpe and Dudley were doing was wrong - so strongly to the point that you opened up to acquaintances to protect us. Ya'll are good people - we won't soon forget that.
As I started realizing the severity of what was being said back at the event -I started crying (#yucksorry) to one of these acquaintances - v embarrassing but emotions will get cha every now and then. Anyways, I quickly got it together and we went to Temple and had a blast.
While at Temple - Sharpe was relentlessly texting two of the people we were with, telling them that they were "picking the wrong side" and that "they should leave" and not hang out with us.
Sharpe? Not fun.
The next day - Sharpe and Dudley's harsh words started to sink in - the feeling that I may be losing two of my close friends was unmistakable.
& I was v, V unwell.
I freaking broke the f*ck down readers.
I. didn't. want. another. failed. friendship.
I didn’t want this.
& I REALLY didn't want to do THIS whole song and dance again. (yet here I am writing and you reading lol)
Have you all ever had an instance where a friendship made an excruciatingly bad turn out of nowhere? This was the first time it ever happened to me like this. Previous failed friendships I've witnessed or been a party to, generally were already on a steep downhill trend - you could sense the relationship was doomed - which generally makes walking away pretty darn easy.
Sharpe and Dudley's hateful verbal onslaught was entirely out of left field - the crime didn't fit the punishment in my eyes.
Yes, I was miffed at Sharpe for being fake with the whole Faye situation; but this was the first fight we had ever had. I wasn't going to walk away from her because of it. Not even close. I just wanted to talk to her in person and not over the phone
I also knew Sharpe and Dudley had gotten up in arms about the Faye blog post; but it had been taken down AND they were the ones who ran and told Faye and her boyfriend about it in the first place?
So for the first time - with these friendships crumbling in front of my eyes - I was determined to see if I had the patience and resolve to save them instead of blowing them to smithereens.
Which we all know at this point, I'm practiced at lol.
I reached out to Sharpe Sunday night and was met with tense, clipped responses.
(OH YA SURE - let me rearrange MY work schedule to accomodate your unemployed a** - ludicrous)
Sharpe’s curt responses didn’t surprise me much - Sharpe had spiraled over nothing major happening. Why would she want to meet up with me when she had just verbally assassinated my existence in front of 20+ people?
We did end up meeting up for HH - & this HH was more or less, the equivalent of talking to Humpty Dumpty. Why? You can't break through & reason with irrational people & irrational people get v threatened by an audience who can think and reason rationally.
So what exactly was there to do at HH with a highly irrational individual? Well, my intent was to mend this friendship and get us back on track - & I knew my audience well - so I did the only thing I could do if I wanted us to start rebuilding.
Fall. On. The. Sword.
& I fell on this damn sword and I fell on it hard.
#imsorry #imsorry #imsorry
#myfault #myfault #myfault
I could have (probably should have) ripped Sharpe apart - but I didn't want to.
I was tired.
I was sad.
I wanted my friend back.
I wanted to fix it.
& if that meant taking responsibility for her and Dudley acting like complete morons, then so be it.
I apologized and took accountability for EVERYTHING that had transpired - weakly tearing up at one point #impathetic.
It was my fault for not talking to you sooner.
It was my fault for not rearranging my employed schedule to fit your unemployed one so we could talk.
It was my fault that Faye was talking bad about me which stemmed from me trying to protect you.
It was my fault for writing about Faye in order to protect myself which reflected poorly on you and Dudley.
It was my fault Faye found out about the pulled blog post because you told her.
It was my fault for declining to speak to you at the event even though we both were drunk.
It was my fault Emily and Dana left the event even though you were being a horrible friend.
It was my fault you said all of those vile things about me.
IT’S. ALL. MY. FAULT.
Of course, my apologies were given without the facts that trail them above. I wasn't going to try to make excuses - I was trying to fix what was broken - so I took full accountability.
Once I was finished with my apologies - Sharpe came to the table with an apology of her own - a weak one nonetheless - & it came with a plethora of excuses to back it up.
To Be Continued - Chapter 4, The Excuses