Glass Houses

Happy (almost) NYE betches!

We've all heard of or seen scenarios where people are hell bent to find dirt on someone to “take them down”. But what exactly is a take down nowadays? Like "take someone down" how? 

Make Aaron Samuels break up with them?

Have them get hit by a bus? 

Like how exactly does someone take someone down?

A formal definition of a take down is "an attempt to ruin, sabotage, or destroy someone or something or their chances for success".

Some may view these vent sesh's as a form of take down - I don't quite see it that way. My saltier vents are simply personal opinions in retaliation of someone talking bad about me or ultimately trying to hurt me - & if you're on a quest to hurt someone, you can't be shocked when they turn around and hurt you back.

#justdesserts and all. & here comes some more!

Some people have recently sought to take me down.

Like um, can you just take me downtown for drinks or something nice instead lol? 

& in this quest to find dirt on me.


THEY. FOUND. SOMETHING. #thankyouclara

Spilling that English Breakfast all over the place.

In being transparent, let's take a look inside my glass house. #welcometomycrib

So, who among us has had relationship issues? & if you're not raising your hand, we as the masses, do not believe you. Hell, I'll even raise both my hands for emphasis because like SOS, there’s been some doozies.

My husband and I have been together for 8 years. 

pause for dramatic effect.

EIGHT YEARS. 8!! That's a longer shelf life of a relationship than most everyone I know - and no surprise there, relationships are f*cking hard.

If you've ever gotten to know Ross and I, guarantee you've seen us fight. We're both V strong willed so if one of us steps out of line, it tends to go down in a spat #zerochill.

Now, let's rewind to February of this year. 

Ross and I are on a double date and then all of the sudden during the middle of our entrees, Ross goes, "I'm leaving to go skiing". 


Like ok lol, are you unwell sir??? You're just going to leave me third wheeling on this double date??????

In Ross' head:


So Ross LEAVES ME, & commence my #spiral ladies and gentlemen. I was irate. Like, who shotgun leaves their wife in a middle of a double date?! Ross does lol. So I rage text my husband throughout the night (saying we're getting divorced, blah blah blah and several other fuzzy, nice warm things a ditched wife says) and I stay out until bar close.

Saturday morning, I wake up - still drunk & sassy AFFFFF. 


I immediately want to go to brunch (natural instinct and all). I start texting friends to rally and I also text an acquaintance of mine - I text him that I'm single, Ross and I are getting divorced, & that he should meet us for brunch.

& THAT my friends, is the "dirt" Clara so kindly tossed my way.


Did I end up meeting up with this acquaintance? Nope. I didn't even end up leaving the house that day once the hangover hit #RIP.

& when Ross got his a** back from the mountains, he apologized - so did I - & I THEN proceeded to show him the messages (IG and texts alike) that I had sent this acquaintance. 

Ross and I don't have secrets. We don't lie to each other. & that's the thing funny thing about "dirt" 

1) it's not dirt if you don't care who knows about it

2) it's not dirt if you voluntarily give the information up

Let me thicken this plot for you.

The acquaintance I texted, is the BROTHER of Clara's fiance #ohsnap.

I knew this information would inevitably get back around to Clara. I knew it & I didn't care.

That's how mad I was - & consequently, I have never been left on a double date again (& in conjunction with that lol, I also have never texted anyone else saying I was getting divorced). 

People can only take someone down if they have secrets. The people who scrounge for dirt on others are too dense pretending in exaggerated self-importance to realize the fact that we all live in glass houses. But, it's those who don't have secrets with one another, that line their glass with motherf*cking brick. 

& while people are trying to find ample dirt to throw my way, I have FULL. BLOWN. BOULDERS I'm patiently sitting on. & one I'm ready to launch.

Clara, I may have sent a text, but do you remember the end of August 2013?

That time when you woke us all up because you were so loud?

Yea, you know, that time you slept with Ross' friend? 

We all do. 

& you had just started dating what is now your fiance. 


Till 2019.