Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater

 Hello my beautiful readers! This week I wanted to discuss the topic of cheating.

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Now starting off, let me state for the record that I don’t get it (it being cheating). If you are in a relationship and you have the desire to be with someone aside from your significant other, it’s safe to say you probably have the upper hand in the relationship. So why not break up with your partner (they’ll most likely stick around) and do what you want with a free conscious? Seems like a much better option than lying and sneaking around, no?

Even though I don’t get cheating, I definitely understand that everyone is human. Everyone is capable of making mistakes. If someone cheats once, does that actually mean they will ALWAYS be a cheater? It doesn’t have to; but I have unfortunately known a number of people that have made cheating their mantra. Some girls I know have cheated on EVERY boyfriend they have ever had….ICK. What’s the point ladies? Why even try to be in a relationship if you’re hell bent on destroying it? There’s certainly some internal insecurity at large so why not address that before pulling someone else into the mix?

Let’s look at a “hypothetical” situation (wink, wink, nod, nod lol).

Gertrude just got DUMPED.

Her boyfriend, let’s call him Fred, broke up with her because she couldn’t get over the fact that he cheated on her. Now, to someone who isn’t on the up and up of this situation, it sounds backwards right? Shouldn’t Gertrude be breaking up with Fred if he is the one that cheated? You would think, however, both parties in this relationship had their own share of infidelities (more so than Fred will ever know about).

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Cheating in 2017 and getting away with it, is more or less impossible (so probs just don’t do it). Back in the day, before cell phones and before checking in on Facebook was a “thing”, you really only had someone’s word on where they were at any given moment. But seriously, how did anyone ever know where anyone was lol? You couldn’t shoot someone a text getting an update on their whereabouts or have them “share” their current location. Their word was all you had. Unless you could catch your significant other in the act of cheating or find lipstick on your honey’s shirt collar, it was a lot harder to concretely prove someone was being unfaithful.

Cell phones and social media have changed the game entirely. If you’re tagged in a picture, or texting/DM’ing your cheating escapade on Instagram, Facebook, or even Snapchat, what’s the likelihood that your infidelity is going to get out? VERY likely.

For example: Fred doesn’t go home after a night of partying on St Patty’s Day. Gertrude is at his place. Fred’s not home. Fred doesn’t go home. Gertrude is manic at this point and has the feeling that something had to have happened for Fred to not come home. Fred doesn’t get home till mid-afternoon the following day. Fred gets tagged in a picture with another girl on Facebook from said party night. BAM. Gert puts two and two together:

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Fred spills the beans; he cheated.

With this knowledge in mind, Gert decides to retaliate and cheat in return.

Let’s stop there real quick. I don’t get this. If you’re significant other cheats on you and you’re furious at them for cheating, why would you go and do the exact same thing? I get the whole “you want to hurt them how they hurt you” deal-io, but if you want the relationship to work out, why would you go and make your partner just as mad as you are? Not only that, but now you’re lowering yourself to their level. Do you really want to be known as a cheater too? It’s certainly not the most favorable title to be sporting around town.

Now, is there a better way to respond to cheating rather than with more cheating? Of course! Break up with the person lol! Yes, that’s much easier said than done, but at the end of the day, some action needs to be taken. Cheating is not really a sweep it under the rug kind of thing.

Back to the story.

So, Fred thought when Gert cheated it was in retaliation from his infidelity, & THAT TIME it was; however, there were several other instances, Snapchat exploits included, that Fred will never know about

Funny thing about Snapchat, the pictures may disappear, but the fact that it happened doesn’t…and screenshots don’t either lol. You send someone a nude that’s not your significant other, word will get around. & no Gert, your ex-boyfriend’s friends do not want to see your refund gap…or maybe they do lol.

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Is there any salvaging a relationship once there has been infidelity? I think it’s possible. I think people can rebuild their bond but I personally don’t think that full, unwavering trust can truly be salvaged. & what on earth is there to be done when both parties have cheated? People can certainly forgive, but is it possible to forget something as impactful as cheating on BOTH sides? Maybe, maybe not; but Gertrude couldn’t forget.

Fred thought he and Gert had worked through their adultery issues, but at the end of the day, Gert could not let it go. Definitely the pot calling the kettle black but ultimately, even though both parties were disloyal, Gert got the boot.

So what is there to take away from all this? Getting dumped by someone who cheated on you even though you cheated on them is an unfortunate and bizarre situation lol; so don’t cheat. Stay monogamous! Or by all means call it quits and be single. You can’t cheat, get cheated on, or get broken up with if you’re a one man show!

Till next time my lovely confidants!