Chapter 2, Misogynist
So, what is a misogynist?
A misogynist is defined as a person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against women. I don't use this term lightly. & I ask that you all make your own opinions based on the events I will recount in this chapter and several to follow. Let’s begin.
The first time Lauren brought Gary out, it was for a friend's birthday party.
This was the first time Gary was meeting the group and the alcohol was flowing.
A word to the wise - don't imbibe heavily when first meeting your significant other's friends. It's a bad look and generally doesn't end well.
What does Gary do on this first night out with everyone? He gets wasted...at the pregame.
Everyone heads to the bars after the pregame and the crew ends up at Canopy.
At Canopy, Gary beelines to the bar to get a drink that he clearly doesn't need. Up at the bar, Gary starts trying to fight a random guy. Our friends jump into action to diffuse the situation and extract Gary from the bar.
Gary is successfully corralled away from the rando. So what does he do now? Naturally, he starts trying to fight one of our guy friends - we'll call him Tom.
One of the behaviors misogynists tend to exhibit is hypermasculinity. Hypermasculinity can come out in acts of aggression such as fighting.
The group then separates Gary and Tom and collectively decides it's time to head to another bar. Everyone heads outside to order Ubers and Tom's girlfriend - let's call her Tina - gets into it with Gary on the way out. Tina tells Gary to get away from her and Tom.
Gary starts yelling at Tina:
"Who the HELL are you?
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!"
Hypermasculinity can come out in the (seemingly uncontrollable) raising of someone's voice.
Tom, Tina and half of the group jump into their Uber as fast as they can to get away from this screwball.
Gary is left standing on the sidewalk with the rest of our friend group, which happens to be all girls.
Gary is futilely trying to order an Uber; AKA, this kid is too messed up to even use his phone. Our friend - let's call her Heather - saw Gary struggling and decided she would try to help him get a car.
Heather leans in to try to show Gary how to order the Uber.
Gary pushes Heather backwards.
Heather is dumbfounded and regains her composure.
She snaps at Gary:
"DUDE?! I am just trying to help you!"
Gary turns to her & snarls:
"I"LL HIT A GIRL IF I WANT TO."
...
I'm going to let that sink in.
I'll.
Hit.
A.
Girl.
If. I. Want. To.
...
...
The group at Canopy slowly files into their Uber when it arrives.
The awkward silence on the drive to the next bar is deafening.
When the Uber arrives at the next bar, our friend Marci immediately beckons for Gary and Lauren when they get out of the car.
Marci tells Gary he's way too drunk and needs to leave.
Gary begins denying his intoxication.
Marci holds firm and tells him if he went into the bar, it would make things worse. He needed to go.
While Marci is being a bad a** & protecting Heather, Tina and Tom (and arguably everyone else at this bar) from further accosting, what is Lauren doing?
She's standing there -
MUTE.
This is HER boyfriend who now successfully attacked FOUR people in one night and she's doing absolutely nothing.
Finally, Gary agrees to go home.
Gary and Lauren never apologize.
…
Readers - I'm sick to my stomach right now.
Recounting all of this is legitimately going to make me ill.
This is the first of several egregious nights that we all made excuses for Gary.
Simply
because
he was drunk.
& the fact that we let this first situation slide, is tragic.
The fact we overlooked Gary shoving a girl friend and saying
"I'll hit a girl if I want to"
is nauseating.
It’s unacceptable.
There is no excuse for us not rioting in the streets right then and there.
…
So why the hell did we bite our tongues? Let me explain.
Lauren had an abysmal dating record - and that's putting it lightly. She had gone through horrible relationship after horrible relationship & now here was Gary. & Lauren really, really liked Gary. & we really, really wanted Lauren to be happy. Gary was supposedly a totally different guy when he was sober. So we were going to chalk up this first disgusting night to a blackout. We all had, had our share of drunk nights; we would sweep this under the rug.
This was the start of us allowing excuses for inexcusable behavior.
We wanted Lauren to be happy so badly that we cast our beliefs aside in order to paint this nightmare as one that could be blamed on alcohol.
Looking back at Gary's behavior and knowing what we do now, this was far from him just being wasted.
& this is just event number one. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
To Be Continued.