Look What You Made Me Do

So, vacay is awesome but getting sick after vacay? The actual worst. Like ugh I already have to be back from vacation and now I have to get sick too? Tight.

I guess upwards of 20% of travelers come down with something after a trip. Especially if it's an international trip. So I'm over here trying to bust out this vent sesh in a nyquil induced haze.

ALSO did you guys know that those airport security bins that we throw all our crap in have more germs on them than a toilet seat? AND (apparently) more germs on them than a monkey in outbreak??? ...... 

& IDK exactly what that last one means lol, but it DOES NOT sound pleasant #muchgross #muchpanic

Anyways, I bet the title of this vent sesh has a couple of people sweating. 

OMG. Is she going to write about me? 

OMG. She wouldn't dare. 

OMG. OMG. Yadda yadda - freak out so on and so forth. 

Let's get on with it. 



Ya'll can rest easy for now - this will be more of a thinking post rather than an I'm coming for ya type thang. 

Why so soft? *cough cough. I'm sick.

But God knows I have the material.

Anyways, like any basic betch, I love the Real Housewives franchise. It's a great show (obvi a personal opinion) & I find myself getting invested in the characters' stories...which ugh I can't call them characters or stories - it's a reality TV show. AKA real people. Real lives. 

More or less, I'm becoming invested in these women whom I've never met...which is creepy when you think about it ... but #whatevs.

Real Housewives of NY (RHONY) is probs my fav. But the dissolution of Carole Radziwill and Bethenny Frankel's friendship had me shook this season. Why? Because they were BEST friends for 2+ years and it all came crashing down (yes, I'm having some self reflection).

The dissolution of friendships is interesting & we all know I've had several - like obvi lol, I've made them all public at this point.

To give you guys a brief synopsis if you don't watch RHONY, Carole seemingly started to pull away from Bethenny this season. & Bethenny, being the control freak she is, absolutely lost it. 

Bethenny trashed Carole throughout the entire season during her 1x1 interviews for the sole reason that Carole wasn't her bestie anymore.

Carole, what are your thoughts on this?


Most of the housewives blog after each episode airs on what they thought of the epi and give their final two cents. Carole just happens to be an accomplished journalist and New York Times best selling author. Bethenny messing with a journalist/author in her ex-best friend? Not wise. Like duh writing is Carole's profession - you betta watch out!

SO, Bethenny is relentlessly running her mouth and bashing Carole throughout the show - Carole on the flip side, puts her fingers to the keyboard and absolutely lights Bethenny up in her blog (which I can relate to lol). 

Bethenny in turn gets ALL up in arms about Carole's blog playing the victim card.

Carole's response?

"Bethenny, you know what that blog is? I know you’re not used to it, but that’s holding you accountable."


So much yes you guys.

& as much as I love me some Bethenny Frankel #getoffmyjock, Carole is in the right here  

After the last vent sesh I put up and then archived, there was SO much chatter.

Oh, this person's a victim!

Oh, that's person's a victim!

OH the poor victim!

Blah blah blah blah VICTIM VICTIM BLAH.

& SO much other drama that I have tucked away neatly in a little box.

But let me reiterate this point:

IF this blog is talking bad about someone EVER, you better believe they did something to me, to a friend, or to an acquaintance. Just because I get the last word, does NOT make the person I'm writing about the victim. 

What IS it doing?


& that my friends, is what scares people. 

& if you're scared -

What did you to that you don't want to account for? 

What did you say out of anger that you don't want repeated? 

Who are you pretending to be? 

You can bet, I have a real good idea.

Holding people accountable is what spawned these vent sessions. But regardless of how much I love accountability and serving someone their just desserts, accountability itself is an interesting topic. & when mulling it over, I had some thoughts:

When you hold someone accountable, you are looking backward. 

& let me repeat that.

When you hold someone accountable, you are looking backward.  

& maybe that's been my issue. 

With each friend I've said sayonara to, l solely looked backward to justify the dissolution. & honestly, how can anyone be successful that way?

Well...you can't. 

Looking back will only reveal the damage done. 

But what about looking forward? What about rebuilding? 

Holding individual's accountable is necessary at some point in every relationship because people make mistakes - but, shouldn't the most important steps come after? 

Shouldn't the steps of resolution and looking forward be where the focus lies? 

And maybe that's where I've gone wrong all of these times. I immediately walked away from friends after holding them accountable; I didn't give it a chance to turn back into a successful relationship. Then I cemented that backwards accountability into a series of #ventseshs.


& nooooooo, 

I hate to disappoint some of the crowd thinking this could lead into an apology tour - it's not. BUT I could have handled things better in the past and this post brought me to the following:  

I think the strongest friendships require a balance of accountability & resolution. You can hold those around you accountable if they screw up - but make that looking backwards brief. Any and all resolution will only come by looking and moving forward. 

& I've been missing that last step.

So while #lookwhatyoumademedo is still more or less a way of life - maybe opening up that door and discussing #lookwhatwecando is the appropriate step moving forward.

Till next time.