66.3K views beautiful denv.her. babes! Our goal is to hit 100K by 2018. Can we do it? I think so!
Fill that wine glass up and let’s get into the newest vent sesh, shall we?
I had a conversation recently that got me thinking. This conversation was surrounding the topic of transparency and how my husband, Ross, and I communicate.
This topic came up because I said something demanding to Ross & he called me out on it. When he called me out, I agreed I was being irrational & bossy, but I still wanted him to do what I asked. He then did what I asked.
One of our friends noticed this exchange and was intrigued. I had essentially validated Ross’ comment that I was being a brat, and then Ross met my demand.
THIS, is where the power of transparency lies people.
I know I can be INCREDIBLY demanding. Literally, like 99.99% of my personality is demanding lol. Why on earth would I deny it? That’s who I am. I know it. I own it. & it’s the fact that I am so transparent with my behavior that Ross is not just able to handle it, but loves me for it. There’s no guessing game between us. He never has to wonder about the intricacies of my personality or how I’m feeling. He is VERY well in the know because I'm transparent with him. I’m not one to sit there and brood over something when I can simply let him know if I’m mad about something and why.
You know how some people say, “I’m fine”, when they’re in the thick of a disagreement but they’re not actually fine? If you are one of these people:
You’re not doing yourself any favors by making someone think you’re ok if you’re not. & you’ll be hell bent to find an authentic individual who doesn’t appreciate transparency.
I was talking to a gal a couple weeks back and she told me, “I love the blog but it’s so mean!”. She was taken aback when I agreed with her:
“Ya, I am mean.”
Mouth drop! Transparency will leave some people flabbergasted, folks.
I think a lot of people think I’m sitting behind this computer thinking I’m not doing anything wrong; that I have a “victim behind a keyboard” mentality. This is simply not true. I am VERY aware of what I am doing lol. Some of the things I say in my vent sessions aren’t even just mean, they’re downright vicious. Did I ever say I played nice?
Even though I can be transparent & agree that the blog is mean, I’m also transparent as to why I feel validated in my writing. If I’m mean, it’s in reaction to something that happened to me or transpired around me. Does this give me the right to be mean? No. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind and all. But at the current stage of life I’m in, if someone tries to take my eye, I’ll take both of theirs without hesitating. #transparency
Now, even though transparency is something to strive towards, you will find people who don’t appreciate it. These people are the ones too insecure to accept their actions that define them (aka, hi Gertrude, Peggy, and Bertha).
Transparent titles: Gertrude - Cheater. Peggy - Two Faced. Bertha - Lunatic.
These titles are well earned ladies. Own it.
Gertrude – Cheater
We all know that Gertrude is a cheater. Her actions define that title. Not me. I’m just the mouthpiece more than willing to tell you why lol. So why is Gert so upset over what I’ve written? Because she can’t own it. You don’t want the title of a cheater? Simple fix. Don’t cheat. It’s not rocket science.
One really interesting story of Gertrude’s cheating is from college. Gert slept with three guys in one week (one of them being her boyfriend) & ended up getting Trichomoniasis.
Don’t worry, I had to look it up too.
Funny story to branch off of this actually! Since I had no idea what Trichomoniasis was (thank God) when Gert texted me saying she had it, I had to google it on my iPad to figure it out. Like two days later, I was sleeping and Ross woke me up, and was YELLING, asking why the hell I had a search for Trichomoniasis on my iPad. Once I got him to stop yelling, I explained the situation and showed him the texts from Gert. Cue a sigh of relief from Ross!
So if you're ever looking for a sure fire way to freak out your significant other, just Google search a std and leave it up on the browser. #itsTRICHay
Once Gert had gone to the doctor and gotten everything taken care of with antibiotics, she randomly texted me about a week after, saying she never had Trichomoniasis and that she was fine now……………………………………………………………like……………………………………………………………what? Duh you’re “fine” now (antiobotics will do that lol). If you can’t own the repercussions of being aggressively promiscuous, probably don’t go around telling your friends what you did, what you contracted, and then back pedal trying to erase it. Own it.
Let’s fast forward to more recent days.
Gert and I got happy hour last year trying to work through our friendship problems. Gert, to my surprise, owned up to her infidelities in college & admitted she had made several big mistakes. I was SHOCKED by what Gert was saying. Had she actually changed? Was she actually owning it?
I was optimistic as she continued: “But that's what I was like in the past. I’m not like that anymore. I’ve changed, I’ve grown up. My boyfriend and I are doing great.”
Oh Gert...you TRICHster.
Sorry lol lol. I can’t resist a good pun. I’m annoying. Moving right along.
My response to Gert’s revelation that she had changed?
“But you’ve cheated on ‘current boyfriend’s name’?”
Gert’s face fell as if I had punched her right in the stomach. Why? She was betting I didn’t know this info, but oh boy did I (Gert’s best friend had disclosed this tidbit of info to me months prior).
Basically, I saw a glimpse of potential maturity when Gert owned up to her college antics, but that hopeful moment was quickly snuffed out when Gert looked me dead in the eye and lied. There’s the Gert I know & love!
Will Gert ever be able to own her actions and find some level of transparency? Who knows. She was able to admit her wrong doings in college 3 years after; maybe she’ll be able to take ownership for her more recent faux pas when 2019 rolls around. Until that happens, her lies can keep her warm at night.
Do bad actions warrant bad titles? Yes. Do those bad titles have to stick? No. Be transparent with yourself & own these past actions. Once you own it and realize where you went wrong, you can adjust your behavior and change for the better moving forward.
I'll leave you with the following quote:
"A lack of transparency results in distrust and a deep sense of insecurity" - Dalai Lama