Vent Sesh #1 is live! & here comes the good stuff.
Anyone who knows me, even remotely well, will not be shocked that my first vent sesh is going to be centered on the quality of: loyalty. Surprise surprise!
Loyalty, as defined by google (because where else do we find definitions or any sort of information nowadays), is “a strong feeling of support or allegiance”. Loyalty is my mantra. It’s what I give and expect from those in my inner circle. You think this would be an innate quality any friendship yields right? Wrong. So let’s jump right in shall we?
I’ve been criticized and even ridiculed for the level of loyalty I expect from my friends. So I’ve taken a step back to try to put a finger on why I am the way I am. Fabulous of course. Jk. I’m actually a little neurotic but guess what; all the good ones are!
Here’s what I came up with:
1. My parents
I was blessed with a really good upbringing. Correction. I was blessed with an amazing upbringing. I never really wanted for anything but even more than that, my parents were, and still are in my mind, the epitome of a strong marriage. I think it’s easy to identify where my first real understanding of loyalty came from and it’s from them. The commitment my mom and dad have for each other is unwavering. Being raised with such strong role models instilled a strong desire to surround myself with faithful people.
2. An unfortunate high school circumstance
I want to preface this one: ladies there are over 163 MILLION men in the world. If you find yourself wanting to go after your best friends ex, just don’t do it; “that’s just like, the rules of feminism”.
I was one of those unlucky gals that had my best friend decide she wanted to seriously date my ex when I was still desperately in love with him. OUCH. Looking back at it now it seems silly and trivial BUT if you’ve ever been in this situation, you know it suuuucks. Unless you’re some sort of masochist and enjoy being incredibly distraught. Or you’re a dude with no feelings. Lucky!
I can easily say this situation was the most I’ve ever emotionally hurt. This is the pivotal circumstance that scorched loyalty into my absolute being. Not only had I lost the guy, I had lost my best friend. Some people say the second part of losing the best friend is a personal decision; which I can agree, it is. I could have decided my best friend dating my ex wasn’t a big deal and been complacent with that bad behavior, but that’s just not me. If that’s you, keep killing it with kindness.
I did eventually forgive this friend (time heals all and all that jazz) but forgiveness is not forgetting. Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice… there will never be a twice.
Coming out of this situation I can tell you three things I knew for sure:
- I would never let a friend hurt me like this again
- I would surround myself with the most loyal friends I could find and if I felt them wavering, you’re done, cut out, see ya later, sayonara, good bye!
- I would be the most loyal friend I could be and viciously protect those around me.
Woah that got intense.
I’m first to admit my flaws and I 100% recognize I’ve taken the loyalty thing WAY too far in the past. I’ve treated people poorly before because of it and 9 times outta 10 I look back and think yikes I needed a major chill pill. But hey it happens and nobody’s perfect right?
Loyalty. Till next time!