Cutarelli Vision, DTC

Hello babes! I am happy to tell you, that I now can see ALL of your beautiful faces with 20x20 vision.

Thank you baby Jesus (and my husband for funding this little venture).

Readers, I have been wearing contacts since the 4th grade – THE 4th FREAKING GRADE. So, being able to wake up & go to bed without sticking my fingers in my eyes? Literally the best thing ever. And now let’s say if there’s a fire, or ya know, like a zombie apocalypse or something, I have a better chance of surviving. #winning (yes, I think about stuff like this).

BUT, even though my eyesight is now perfection

#chandlerismyspiritanimal, my Lasik experience at Cutarelli Vision, DTC was FAR from an enjoyable one. 

One of the Cutarelli technicians requested that I rate them on social media following my surgery… 

Oh sweetheart, I’ll do you one better. 

Welcome to denv.her.

Cutarelli Vision is one of the largest Lasik practices in CO. So naturally, when I chose Cutarelli for my Lasik, I assumed everything would run really smoothly. Too bad I forgot that to assume, makes an ass out of u & me.

I scheduled my free consultation with Cutarelli Vision online and then waited for my consultation day. I never received an email confirming my consultation so two days prior, I gave Cutarelli a call to make sure my online booking had gone through. An uncouth front desk gal answered my call:

“Oh. You should have received an email confirmation…but someone was going to call you tomorrow anyways.”

Like, a call is all fine and dandy fam, but a confirmation email would have been nice. AND a confirmation email really should have been sent out after the fact they found out I never got one. Alas, I never received an email.

On the day of my consultation, my appointment was at 2pm.

At 3:45pm, my consultation was finally completed.

1 HOUR & 45 MINUTES for a CONSULTATION.

F**king ridiculous. 

This long, drawn out consultation all spawned from the fact that Cutarelli is more concerned with packing 87237493274 people onto their schedule, rather than being considerate of their patient's time #gottagetthatdough. 

Cutarelli's consultations might as well be called a “Come in and be bored AF in our waiting room with a zillion other people for an hour plus”.

Oooh sounds fun, sign me up! 

#seethingsarcasm

With the long wait in mind – at least the technicians who usher you around are friendly (a bit awkward, but friendly nonetheless).

Now, Cutarelli’s DTC optometrist who saw me during my consultation, pre-op, and  post-op was V uninterested – which was disappointing considering it’s a 5K procedure that most people are paying for out of pocket. You would expect a little more doctor-patient cordiality but whatevs.

My consultation concluded and I put the deposit down for the surgery - the gal who assisted me here was friendly (even though I had to wait 30 minutes to get in front of her & like of course you're friendly, here's 5K).

The day of my pre-op rolled around and I was taken in one of the rooms to have my eyes numbed and dilated. I was advised by multiple parties I would be able to see after the numbing and dilation and could drive home.

Now I don’t know if it’s just because my eyes are exceptionally bad, but after the numbing and dilation, I. COULD. NOT. SEE. So here I am as blind as a bat sitting in Cutarelli’s boring a** waiting room once again and it’s completely silent. There’s no music. There's no tv. I couldn’t even see my phone to text anyone. 

So, I sat for 30 minutes, vision-less, doing absolutely nothing in a dead quiet waiting room.

Once the optometrist finally got around to checking my dilated eyes, I paid for the rest of the surgery in full and they sent me on my way home with some plastic sunglasses.

I was already in normal glasses because you aren’t allowed to wear your contacts for 7 days prior to surgery so I’m still not sure what they expected me to do with these plastic sunglasses. Like how am I supposed to put these plastic little sunglasses over my actual glasses? Long story short, I couldn’t. So I literally shoved these flimsy plastic sunglass arms into my hair and awkwardly put them in front of my actual glasses.

So hot.

The sunglasses wouldn't really stay where I needed them to be but I HAD to use them because my eyes were dilated AF & it was sunny AF. But sunglasses or no sunglasses, my vision was still a complete blur.

I drove home, poking along in the right lane, in a complete fog. So minus 10 points for Cutarelli staff advising me that I could see and drive after dilation #lies.

#lookoutworld #lawsuitwaitingtohappen

My surgery was the next day, mid-afternoon, and by the time 2pm rolled around, I was GEEKING out. The fact that Cutarelli let me drive home pretty much blind the day prior had me majorly questioning this place's patient accountability. 

When I arrived for my surgery, the rude AF front desk lady asks me for payment...I had already paid in full.

I let her know this and she looks at me and goes

"No you haven't."

Like? YES, I HAVE - you idiot.

So I pulled out the copy of MY receipt I was given when I had paid (TG I kept it), & showed her the processed payment.

"Oh. We didn't have a copy of this."

No documentation of a 5K payment??! No problem! Cutarelli will just charge ya twice!!

The incompetence is astounding ladies and gentleman.

After the payment debacle, one of the technicians ushered me into the surgery waiting area (they wouldn’t let my husband Ross come with me which freaked me out even more).

The surgery waiting room was MUCH nicer than the office waiting area. They had massage chairs and walls in between each patient so there was privacy.

The technician got me settled in my chair and gave me numbing drops for my eyes. She then started leading me through post-op instructions. 

The post-op paperwork I had reviewed multiple times prior to my surgery  (OCD) stated I would take antibiotic and steroid eye drops 4 hours after surgery, and then every 4 hours after that for about two weeks. The technician stated the timeline was 2 hours after surgery and every 2 hours after that. 

I inquired about her timeline as it didn’t match the paperwork and she goes: 

“Oh ya, every 2-4 hours, it doesn’t really matter”. 

I guess it’s all relative to these people since the surgery is so blasé and they do so many; but technicians really shouldn’t be contradicting what’s in their post-op paperwork if you ask me.

Once the technician was finished with her spiel, I let her know I was super nervous. She then gave me three Valium. #fmeup

The Valium was broken into quarters and handed to me. The technician instructed me to put them underneath my tongue and let them dissolve. I asked for water and she said I couldn’t have any because the pills would dissolve more slowly in my stomach and they wanted the Valium to hit me quicker (once again, rushing through steps and making the patient uncomfortable in the meantime #customerservicenightmare). 

I was too nervous to argue about not getting water so I took the yellow chunks of Valium and put them underneath my tongue.

About two minutes went by, and the chalky dissolving Valium came bubbling forth with a horrendous taste.

What does Valium dissolving in your mouth taste like?

A** HOLE. Complete and utter A** HOLE.

I started gagging on the now Valium paste and almost threw up.

The technician came back by and I looked at her, and growled: 

“I need water - NOWWW.”

Ya…..

she got me water pretty quick after that exchange lol.

Once I got the small dixie cup, swig of water to choke back my vomit, Dr. Cutarelli (or Dr. C as they call him) came by. I couldn’t really see him because my glasses were off but he was very nice and chatted to me for a minute about the procedure.

The technician then came and ushered me into the surgery room. 

The surgery room was super clean, sterile, and intimidating (as you would expect any surgery room to be). One of the technicians gave me a pillow in the shape of a French bull dog to squeeze during the surgery which seriously was my saving grace - 2 points for the puppy pillow!

The surgery staff hadn't allowed enough time for my Valium to kick in so my only option was to choke-hold the puppy pillow and try to stop shaking/try not to hysterically cry.

The Lasik procedure itself is about 3 minutes for each eye. The technician had advised me right before the surgery – "It smells like burnt hair when they laser the eye so that is what you’ll smell."

Burnt hair? BURNT HAIR? Listen lady, I burn my hair every morning. Whether that’s with a straightener or a curling iron, I'm frequently burning my hair. & does getting Lasik smell like burnt hair? NOPE. Getting lasik smells like straight burning flesh. You know why? Because they’re burning your freaking flesh.

Luckily, I had been advised by an acquaintance that the second you smell the laser hitting your eye, breathe through your mouth. This seriously helped SO much and saved me from enduring the BURNT FLESH smell.

Now to describe Lasik itself - I would compare it to what it would probably feel like to get probed by aliens. 

They clamp one eye open at a time, suck your eyeball out and then laser away. 

Did this hurt? I wouldn’t say that it hurt. The eyes are thoroughly numbed up with drops so the procedure itself is not painful. But is is V uncomfortable and nerve-wracking so thank goodness it’s a short process.

After 6 intense minutes, I was done and sent on my way. 

About 10 minutes after my surgery, the Valium finally kicked in. Sick timing guys!

I was out until the next morning.

The next day, my post op appointment was at 8am.

A technician  checked my eyes at about 8:10am. 

I was then left in the following waiting room (which at this point, I had been in FAR too many times, for WAY too long of a time each time):

office.jpg

So I sat in this SUPER cool room until 8:40am. 

After the 30 solid minutes of not getting seen, I marched myself up to the front desk:

“Is anyone going to come and check my eyes? My appointment was at 8 and I’ve been waiting in that room for 30 minutes.”

The snot of a human, front desk lady responds:

“The doctor JUST got IN. He will see YOU shortly.”

WELL, if the doctor JUST got in, MAYBE you shouldn’t schedule patients until 8:40am!

The lateness that Cutarelli functions at on non-surgery days is deplorable.

So there you have it folks – that is Lasik at Cutarelli Vision, DTC in a nut shell. 

Would I recommend Lasik from Cutarelli Vision? Meh, probably not.

The results are amazing & Dr. C himself was great (the 10 minutes you get with him); but overall, Cutarelli employees have zero cares about their patient’s schedules. So if you choose Cutarelli for your Lasik, know that you’ll be seeing 20x20 after surgery, but the minute you walk through those doors, you’re on THEIR time.

& they couldn't care less about you, your schedule, or their administrative attention to detail.

Here’s to hoping you aren’t in a rush! 

XOXO